Misplaced Sympathies are NOT what Men Who've Become Predatory Need. They are NOT the Victims!
This story is tragic from beginning to end. But, to ensure we understand how best to help in such situations, we need truth, not misplaced sympathies. The title of the story, though hopefully well-intentioned, is not honest, as this is not about a man who killed himself due to a lack of self-acceptance of his so-called queer lifestyle or a society that wasn't accepting of a man's struggles to "find himself." Truth be told, my hunch is he elected to avoid what was likely going to unmasked about him and his online activities. And, I have no doubt that an intensive forensic audit of this man's computer and online activities, would yield a clear picture as to why he elected to kill himself when he did... before it was finally revealed.
The article writes: "Austin recounts surviving sexual abuse as a preschooler, his favorite aunt’s suicide, battling mental illness and struggling with a porn addiction before he eventually lost his ministry job over “unethical contact" with youth under his care."
So, he had "unethical contact" with minors he was overseeing... and he was accessing very deviant stuff online for hours at a time, and had no doubt been doing so for years... yet, the author would spin the focus of this story to be on what? And, instead of our sympathies being directed where they should be... toward his wife, who no doubt suffered silently for years from the humiliation and emotional pain of his betrayal of her trust, as she no doubt discovered what he was accessing online, and found out that he was grooming kids, and even touching them "unethically" (which is typical church spin for the reframing of illegal predatory sexual contact and the corruption of minors, all so the church can avoid embarrassment, while manipulating the parents and the victims to maintain silence by using verses out of context about forgiveness)... the author writes this story as though this porn-saturated man, who targeted a groomed a minor in the church (likely more than one, but the church leadership no doubt hushed the situation, so no other victims could realize they too had been groomed and sexually manipulated), essentially took his own life because of feeling like such an outcast for "coming out" as queer. So, instead of the author focusing on how deceptive and hurtful this man was toward his trusting and faithful wife, the author spins it to generate misplaced sympathies.
And, we are asked to believe that he was a survivor, with no signs of childhood maladjustment, and being so well adjusted that he gained the trust of a church to be in charge of youth... all the while accessing progressive porn behind closed doors, then accessing the kids to prey upon them? And, how many times have I heard that over the years while conducting sex offender treatment? The following blog past will help with that: https://www.survivorsupport.us/2020/05/the-eyes-of-young-abuse-victims-will.html
No, his story of being sexually abused is his own self-report without anything else to confirm that, other than his own words, rings hollow and fails to pass "the smell test," as I heard that same exactly line one too many times from the men in my prison sex offender treatment groups. And, what is the exact nature of "unethical" contact with minors? Could it be that it was more than "unethical", but the church simply made a deal with him not to turn him into the authorities and sweep it under the rug, and to convince the parents they should "forgive" instead of seek justice... all so "the issue" and this man's actions wouldn't "embarrass" the church? I've heard that kind of thing happening too many times, not to cross my mind... which would make sense of why he couldn't continue in ministry, instead of "being restored."
Given his history of porn addiction, and the fact that he had already begun grooming minors, it is likely he was accessing some very questionable deviant material, including BDSM, snuff, bestiality, and "barely legal"he knew truth was going to be revealed. My hunch? There was more going on behind the scenes that was contributed to his wife's clinical depression. What makes me fairly certain? Over 11+ years of conducting sex offender treatment, I had numerous former pastors and youth pastors just like him in my groups... men who allowed themselves to become a wife's worst heart-break, a church's worst nightmare, a child's greatest source of emotional confusion and a spiritual stumbling block, a parents' greatest concern, and the kind of man who looks so kind, and who's story can be spun to create misplaced sympathies, despite it being the wife, the children he was manipulating, the parents and congregation he deceived, and the women and children he objectified and accessed online who are the real victims of this man's duplicity and selfishness.
Far from being a victim, as though he had no roll in feeding his deviance with progressive porn, despite the pain it was causing his wife from such betrayal that it sent her into a deep depression, he is the victim of his own choices to have begun accessing material online and engaging in deviant sexual activities, which caused him to morph into a grand deceiver, who broke his promises to a trusting wife... and, caused him to groom minors, for which he was likely never arrested had the church leadership followed through on their responsibilities as Mandated Reporters. And, that is why I developed www.ChurchProtect.org.
For a deeper look into what likely was going on behind the scenes, and what this man's online activities and deception were doing to his wife's trust and emotional wellbeing, I encourage you to listen to the first-hand account of what a woman goes through when she discovers her husband has been deceiving her for years by his porn use and double-life, in this gripping podcast interview:
"When a wife is betrayed by the man she thought she knew." (Pt. 1)
For an understanding of the classic methods of rebranding that take place to ensure porn-fueled predators are rebranded as naive and well-meaning, and viewed in the most favorable light, visit:
For an overview of a classic child sexual predators, who excels at appearing trustworthy, all the while accessing the darkest of porn behind closed doors, then gaining direct access to minors, visit: https://www.survivorsupport.us/2021/06/welcome-to-profile-of-sophisticat-child.html
For a deeper dive into the impact porn can have on a man's mind, visit:
Comments
Post a Comment